Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You smell like stripper and shame
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize