ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
