So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
