Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
