You don't have asthma, your pregnant
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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