i just google imaged poop.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
