whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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