I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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