i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
