I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Quick, to the slutcave!
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
