What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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