My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
