the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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