Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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