Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
