Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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