i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
