Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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