i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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