Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
