you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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