My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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