its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
