Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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