There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
