She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
