tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
