"it" just moved
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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