Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
