so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize