I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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