Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
