My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
