cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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