The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
