Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
