shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Ketchup is God's man juice
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
