I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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