get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
