Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
