Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
