I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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