I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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