You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
