just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
