Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Randomize