every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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