is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
