I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
