I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Your dad touched me again.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
