What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
