you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize