You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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