if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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