I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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