You work out of a Hotel?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
50% drunk capacity currently
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
