It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
