Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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