I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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