you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
