I wish I could punch you in the face.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize