Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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