Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize