She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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