"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
