It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
