tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
