Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
