do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
