I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I think a kid would responsible me up
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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