Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
