Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
This baby is an asshole
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
