it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
