im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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