I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
