For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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