R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
