No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
